Wednesday 30 May 2012

Time & Attendance, Nope Time & Criticism.

Firstly, hello and welcome to my new follower Harriet. I am so grateful you stopped by.

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I got asked this question the other day
“Have you finished X? (a personal project)

“Nope” I replied “Not had the time yet”

The response was a large scoff, by my inquisitor, stating what utter rot as what did I do after I had finished work with no kids and just myself to look after. The sub text was definitely “You are lazy”

I went home and thought about this. 
  • Once a month I attend book club 7-8pm on a Monday.
  • Every Tuesday I go my evening sewing class from 7 –9pm and get home about 9.20ish I then have to cook and shower. 
  • One evening a week I see The Chap, I get home eat and shower and get round to his for about 8pm..
  • One evening a week I see my parents for dinner and again get home about 8.30-9pm.
That leaves one evening a week free.

At weekends (fri – sun) I stay at TCs place but often pop home to take washing out and put a new load in. That means, Sunday when I go home I can clean and iron before doing some more sewing and perhaps starting on the new Months book.

Plus on top of this I make sure I see my friends, bake my own bread, and of course take care of my cul de sac’s admin as I am Secretary of our Resident’s Association.

Oh, plus I leave to go to work at 7am and get home at 7pm.

Conclusion, nope not lazy, just busy.

But, after thinking about this I got really cross. I often find people believe they have the right to comment on me. They think that my life is quiet / meaningless / selfish as I do not have children, or sometimes others believe that they should say what they think as it is honesty.

I decided long ago not to cause waves by trying not to get offended, but now I find the criticism is more overt

“People who do not have kids are selfish”
“Of course you have put on bit of weight recently…I am just being honest”
“Could you do x, y ,z for me as you do not have children and so have the time”
My personal favourite in the days before The Chap “Never mind Abigail, someday someone will see past your outside and realize are are beautiful…inside”

I realize now that I am much more aware of how I was brought up – If you cannot say anything nice then do not say anything at all. Is it me or does anyone else suffer from these verbal smacks in a kamikaze style attack whilst your Frenemy smiles sweetly?

Ok rant over, sorry not talk about thrift today!

And finally, pay day tomorrow. This is the total of my remaining cash. £2.98.
Contemplating an ice cream on my way home.

Thank you everyone for your nice comments about my hair. I am pleased with it and have ordered more dye whilst it is on offer for a few months hence. It seems I am not alone is disliking the whole dyeing process.

Frugally yours
Abigail
x



7 comments:

  1. I think you showed remarkable restraint myself! Don't let the b-----s get you down, they are just jealous. Probably got a lousy life themselves and think you should have the same. Enjoy what you have whilst you have it, never know what is around the corner, for better or worse...

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  2. You know, I think it's always a different size of the medal. I have 2 kids and a stay-at-home Mom, and I get the "lazy" attitude or that I have "nothing to do" because I chose to stay with my kids. Grass is always greener on the other side, and it applies to our personal situation too. I think you are great, enjoy being who you are!!

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  3. I am in a different situation to you, but still get the same kind of comments, some people are just rude and basically stupid. Have had lots of negative comments at work about my sewing, crochet etc, resulting in me not doing much crafting at lunchtime any more. I now do my own thing, and don't care what others think........well most of the time.

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  4. argh! you have hit a sore spot of mine! the blind ego self centred view breeders carry about ...

    “People who do not have kids are selfish”

    ah no ... many people who do not have kids see where this world is going (water is going to be a BIG global issue), do not feel they have sufficient space/funds/ support (a spouse) to raise them properly or are just like me & did not WANT any starling as that might appear to them. I made sure my husband agreed before I accepted his proposal.

    My personal favourite in the days before The Chap “Never mind Abigail, someday someone will see past your outside and realize are are beautiful…inside”

    You have a LIFE with time spent as you wish. Some of them will look back, when they are sitting alone, unvisited in a care home etc. & wish they undertaken done some long fancied life venture ... I truly believe that when old is not what we DID that we regret but what we DID NOT.

    I realize now that I am much more aware of how I was brought up – If you cannot say anything nice then do not say anything at all. Is it me or does anyone else suffer from these verbal smacks in a kamikaze style attack whilst your Frenemy smiles sweetly?

    I was brought up that it was impolite to make personal remarks. When I have received any I generally smile & wander away.

    You just carry on ... practice a wicked, self-satified smile when queried about what you did last night.

    Anne in Cambridge

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  5. Thanks Ladies! It is really amazing how rude people are prepared to be isn't it? And yet, if you say something back, often I am accused of being sensative! Arrgh! Can't win! Never mind. I enjoy my hobbies.
    lots of love
    x

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  6. Thanks for such social platform which give us variety of idea to explore ourself technically .This exposure give benefits to everyone to fit or to surive in global market which is very essential in the global era.

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I really love reading all comments. So please tell me what you think. Abigail